I tried capturing the moment with my cameraphone. There is an awful silence trying to live in the moment. It's easier to live in the future sometimes.
In that moment I start to build up.
I'm turning grey.
That moment were sunshine is trying to break free, but the clouds won't let me get away.
If I live in the moment, I start to feel.
I would rather live on the clouds, that's how I'll heal.
Let them storm, let them rain, but don't let me fall far
with the rain.
Up high is comfortable, but yet so alone.I'm to scared to come down.
Is it better this way? I'm just so torn.
Do I get down and explain? Or should just let myself drown with the rain?
My face feels wet, my eyes are blurry.
Am I the reason why it's grey?
I am everything that's grey in this world. Would there be more sunshine if I just left today?
The storm is building, I'm getting darker.
I'm finally black. Who said that this was harder?
It's easy to give in, it's easy to let go.
Let me crumble in my bed and forever stay home.
The world doesn't need me. Shields of umbrella's they use to keep me away.
They won't even bother, they are home to stay.
They don't come out, they don't want to hear my screams.
Am I not loud enough or am i shouting in their dreams?
Am I just invisible?
Or are my feelings not credible?
I am doubting, I'm giving up.
But I'm angry. As lighting strike they don't get me.
I want them to feel my wrath, my storm, my rain.
I swirl around them, but they don't hear my pain.
Let them be home, let them be silent.
I like this loneliness anyway. I am in my element and I'm here to stay.
Then the wind came. It gave me direction. It made me feel safe.
I was always there, but I needed guidance.
I needed to show my bow out of this rain.
The wind guided me. I started to feel grey.
There was sunshine breaking through. It sparkled, it was bright.
The light came through.
I watched the night turn in to day.
I became hopeful.
I let my clouds fade with the wind.
It showed me rainbows are beautiful.
I gave sunlight the right to shine. I was scared to burn myself.
But the wind insured me, there is more then black and white everyday. Sometimes it's okay to be grey.
Rain is a part of me, I accepted this, it is my fate.